Monday, September 04, 2006
"I was hoping someday You'd be on your way to better things It's not about your make-up Or how you try to shape up To these tiresome paper dreams Paper dreams, honey..."
- The Kooks :She Moves In Her Own Way
I've fallen into a routine of wasted time and missed opportunity and utter uncertainty. I have no idea what I want for the first time in my life. I have little expectations of myself. All I know is that for a while now I've been yearning for change-something big but subtle and secret , only for me.
Cegep is proving to be everything I wanted it to be and more, work seems to be getting better and better and my social life keeps me on my toes.
I guess you could say what I'm not happy with is me then. I haven't been living up to my ideals of myself lately. I feel like all my work for school has been one procrastination after another, and when it comes to work I'm such a ditz and then my domestic life is a disaster.
and till no love life to speak of.
But really I just don't have time to really please someone else in my life right now. If i were to commit to a relationship I would have to put all of myself into it and into giving him the best because I don't know any other way to love someone.
On another note I really need to stop smoking so much weed, because I'm afraid that when i started this post there was a point I was trying to make and now I've got nothing.
So I'm going to leave you with the fact that I find doing laundrey very spiritually cleansing, which is just fucking ridiculous.
3:22 PM
