Wednesday, September 27, 2006
"In their eyes is the place that you finally discovered That you love it here, you've got to stay On the bottom of the rock, an island On which you find you love it when you twitch You feel that itch in you petty coat Your pretty pretty pettycoat"
-The kooks:Oh la la
Now I'm no stranger to flirty banter -or casual eye fucking for that matter. I take pleasure in both giving and receiving and find that intercourse at first glance can lighten up any gal's day. And hey! Sometimes I even engage in full on conversations like normal people!
But yesterday for the first time I was made aware of a whole new form of being hit on. I was "holla'd "at. (No that isn't Hello in spanish nor is it "a very loud utterance " as most dictionaries would have you believe)
I'm still not even sure what hollaring at someone entails, but I'm thinking it's pretty much synonimous with wanting to get into someone's pants.
In this case that someone was me...and the pants, those were also very much mine. So I got off the bus and jay walked (as I am oftem apt to do...) across St John's and while I did so a (very nice) car rolled past and I got eye fucked by the driver.
My first reaction?
To be honest there really wasn't one. I get eye fucked every single day along with every other woman in Montreal- you get used to it. In this case I was asking for it (I had done this really chic hair flip thing where I looked confused and pouty-just how they like 'em. and he wasn't bad in the looks department.)
Then everything changed-the car had turned into my apartment complex and had parked painfully close to my place! I was going to have to walk past the car.
There's something highly awkward about re-incountering the person who just eye fucked you isn't there? After having shared a moment filled with so much sexual tension you feel like you have something to live up to.
So I tried my best to look undaunted and sexy. undauntedly sexy- and do my best tyra backs runway walk past his car when all of a sudden
"Hey girl....can I holla at chu?"
My first reaction? (and this time there was one...)
-1)No. No you can not 'holla' at me. Do I
look like someone you can 'holla' at? If so...I may have to burn these clothes.
-2)I took the tyra banks runway walk too far...damn.
But then I got a better look at him...
not bad. and yet....no...just no.
oo0o0o0o...what a pretty car....he could- no...noooooo.
I just kept on walking but couldn't help but laugh just a little.
The last thing I heard him say was "Beautiful headstrong girl.."
I must admit that I was tempted to ask for a thorough definition of 'hollar' but then I thought he might take my simple enquiry as interest or maybe try to give me a definition that was just a little
too thorough.
Then today some random hobo esque man came up to be and asked me where to find weed.
"I don't mean to sound crazy, but do you know where I can get some weed?" <--- he exact words. I mean holy crap imagine that! A hobo man who is worried about sounding crazy. I thought that is what they lived for. Living-eating and breathing all kinds of crazy.
My first thought was HOLY CRAP i look like someone who knows where to buy weed-this is not good. then I laughed because I had weed at my house! (It was funny at the time)
So I basically replied "You do not sound crazy at all mr.hobo man (when in truth he infact actually did.) But I really don't know where you can find some weed-sorry."
Aren't I nice? Conversing with the men of the streets. I am such a kind soul hmmmmm?
Alas no-kindness is never a good plan. You know when you do something nice and it comes back to bite you in the ass? Well the hobo man didn't exactly bite my ass but he did persist in telling me about his 'good times' at the hospital where he could have as much morphine injected into his crazy hobo self as his crazy hobo self wanted. "Heaven on earth" he called it.
"Heaven on earth."? A hobo man on copius amounts of morphine?!
That better not be the meaning of life or I'm not going to be very pleased. Not very pleased at all.
"It says here you did lots of community service and always conversed politely with hobo men. Oh and you saved a kitten once and helped save a small african tribe from starvation---well that's all very nice but you didn't do nearly enough drugs. Down to the flaming pits of hell you go."
That was God talking if you don't get the joke...and if you still don't get the joke.it's okay i'm not that funny anyway and i'm okay with that.
So now for something not related to eye fucking, drugs and/or hobo men- I dropped my philosophy class. Yes i know I am jepordizing my future...shut up about my future already will you?
Uhg.
I am thinking about my future believe it or not...about moving out downtown and such. I might even be out by this weekend if miracles exist.
I should be doing homework or cleaning my room...story of my life.
1:33 PM
