Monday, September 04, 2006
Dear Mr.EnglishTeacherMC Hottie,You are very intriguing. I must admit that at first my impression of you was that you were just another pseudo witty intelligent wannabe hipster who was just as full of himself as he was of shit.
But now after having been in a total of four of your classes I have to reconsider all of the above. You've turned out to be in all actuality, a very genuine individual, gifted with sharp wit (Your digressions make me giggle). I also admit you are quite easy on the eyes and that I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing everytime you said "Cock Robin."
Dear Primo Ass Hat,First off I'd just like to say AHAHAHAHAAAAA -
HA! Your days of being deemed worthy to ever glance at or in the general direction of my unparalleled cleavage are OVER. I will no longer stand for your demeaning comments on my supposedly high pitched incomprehensible voice or my inability to remember things said or done only 30 seconds earlier. So There! From now on I will be repected and appreciated dammit.
And for the love of baby jesus would you stop flirting with anything that happens to own a vagina, you verbal man whore. Oh and by the way you are good looking, but you're not
that good looking. Calm down.
Dear Dad,Don't you think it's about time you get your not so fatherly ass home and regain some respect? You've been neglecting your obligatons in the raising me department and ignoring the reality of our domestic situation by distancing yourself from your family. It's a little late to decide that you don't want to be a father don't you think? If you didn't want kids you shouldn't have had so much unprotected sex with mom.
While on the topic of mom-what kind of husband abandons his wife like that, emotionally as well as physically. If I was Mom I would have divorced you atleast 3 times by now.
Basically I'm trying to tell you the obvious, that you have a wife and kids who love you(even after all the stupid shit you've pulled) So come home already before you fuck it all up more.
Mexico can fucking wait.
Dear BusBoy,You have re-entered my life unexpectedly and I have no definate opinion on the subject as of yet. I should say that I'm sorry for breaking your heart in highschool but you seem to have recovered well enough, so maybe there's no point.
You seem to be really going somewhere in life and once again I curse my inability to fall for the nice guy, because you would make a dependable, appreciative and wealthy boyfriend. If only I did not have such craptacular taste in the opposite sex or if you woke up one morning with a better sense of style and a completely different personality.
Dear Steve Irwin,I can't believe you're dead. You played a key role in my life, with your australian accent and your love of all things life threatening. When I heard you were gone my first reaction was "Oh God The crocs finally got him." But no, it wasn't an oversized lizard that stole you away into an early grave. It was a damn sting ray. You died of a sting ray's...ummm..sting right to the chest, it's barb right through your heart! (Wtf the fuck is a barb anyway!?)
Oh Steve you captured my heart as you hunted for crocs. And Crikey you will be missed.
8:51 AM
