Saturday, December 23, 2006
I am more than aware that is an unhealthy hour in the morning and that nobody with a real life would post something on here at this time unless they were a complete loser.
or you know.
me.
But i had to type this up not because I want to particularly remember it but because it's far too strange and hilarious (in my pseudo witty opinion) to not write about.
Why not write it tomorrow?
I have the attention span of a hummer bird on speed so chances are come tomorrow something new and just as strangely hilarious will occur and I will have forgotten all about my dream.
So right let's get ot it shall we?
You know those dreams that start off quasai believable and you're not aware that it's actually a dream because it's something might actually happen...but then it just suddenly starts incorporating the most unreal elements and plot twists that you just end up saying "WTF!?" and waking yourself up because there ain't not way it isn't a dream well my dream was one of those.
It's the strangest thing really.
It starts off with me being at Mr.Ninjaboy's house. He's not there yet for some reason though so I am left to mingle with his imaginary sister (who is ofcourse not imaginary in the context of the dream, but he does infact not have a sister in real life-this should have ofcourse tipped me off that I was in lala land but what can i say? You know i'm not all that bright,)
Anyway the sister is pretty nice energetic and really chatting up a storm. We are getting along well and I am thinking all is going well then Mr.Ninja boy enters and I go all shy and dumb (more so than usual) but his sister is coaxing us into being more bold. (I didn't mention it because it's not that important but I was wearing THE cutest outfit: A pink blouse with puffy sleeves and some adorable light jeans and pink tweed flats and my hair was curled and blonde and fabulous all around.)
Anyway he asks me if I'm thirsty and runs off the fetch me a drink (I don't remembe saying yes but I must have?)
This isn't even where things get strange.
His father and mother and grandfather show up and before I know it I'm doing the whole meet the family mambo. They are really just great-except the grandfather is naked.
Ya. buck wild naked. X_x But my dream vision spared me the sight from the waist down.
Things as far as I think are stil going rather well. Nobody is sending me looks of hate so I'm feeling good about the whole shebang until...his grandfather says something along the lines of.
"I'm sorry. You know I'm old I couldn't help it. Sometimes when you're old you just can't hold it."
I am ofcourse confused by this stament (AT FIRST) until I realize...he is referring to the walk he had just taken with Mr.Ninjaboy's parentsoutside...and he was apologizing for...well..not being able to hold it. And I suppose for also be buck wild naked.
I am creeped the hell out but ofcourse I smile and sympethetically tell him it's nothing to be ashamed of and that I'm not offended in the least. Everyone is smiling at me and I am thinking *SCORE THE FAMILY LOOOOOVES ME!*
Then a gust of wind...a mighty gust of wind...(think something along the lines of tornado strength here)
Suddenly I am not wearing ridiculously cute white washed out jeans I'm wearing the outfit I wore to a club saturday night. Which means I'm in a barely legal cleavage baring top and a too short for works excuse for a skirt.
Now remember that might tornado-esque gust of wind? Well ofcourse it didn't know any better and decided to turn my fabulous meeting of the family into a VERY intimate peep show.
I am trying in vain to pull the skirt down-I am begging life to go easy on me just this once all the while trying to giggle the situaiton off.
One of the strangest things is nobody else if bothered by the wind. Least of all the naked old man!
While still trying hopeless to keep my skirt down so my modesty doesn't show (and by modesty I mean underwear) when suddenly I don't have to worry about showing my modesty. No sirree.
Because ladies and gents I am not wearing any.
I am bare.
The yellow boy cut panties I had worn under the skirt when I had gone out last staurday decided to simply be nonexistant.
Not even a cameo.
Just poof.
NADA.
So the just of it is the entire family got to see my....everything.
I am thinking to myself "HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? How am i not wearing panties!?"
Feeling of regret over not having done my laundry lately come flooding in with the shame and beyond words embarassment i am feeling at the whole scenario.
AND SWEET LORD WHERE IS MR.NINJABOY!? Our would be relationship is now ruined by a moment of weakness if the not wearing any panties department and a fucking tornado that just plain hates me with a swirling vortex like passion.
I try to search for words but find none. I try to look at their faces to decepher some sort of comfort and relief from this pantiless death trap.
BUT NOTHING.
no reaction. The wind dies down.
and his mother says "Don't worry *insert Mr.ninjaboys father's name here* liked it."
WHHHHAAAA?
All i manage to spit out is "Oh...no.." and a breathless poor attempt at a giggle escapes my lips.
They are all in shock as is my usual underwear wearing self.
I suddenly feel the urge to lash out to blame something or someone for this most unfortunant of occurences but all I say is
"I'm really not actually a whore! I was sure I was wearing panties! I was sure!"
which is absurd.
Nobody responds and so I carry on with my "I'm not actually a whore!" please
I turn to MNB's mother and suddenly she's mine! My mother is there looking at me dissaprovingly. This caused me some worry because if my mom is his mom then that would be inconvinient and because well...suddenly my mother has just seen my whoring non pantie show starring yours truly.
Now Mr.Ninja boy decides to finally show up and he's holding something I predict was alcoholic in nature and the room is drowning in akward silence
My mind: AAAAHHHH! WHY AM I NOT WEARING PANTIES!? WHYYYYYYY!?!? AND WHY IS THE OLD MAN STILL NAKED?!
with that I run out of the room and I wake up........
What is the meaning of this dream!?
I admit I have gone commando once or twice but never wearing an undecently shirt skirt and never to a guy's house! and I also more then sure that I have never flashed someone's entire family like that (intentionally anyway)
My heart is doing the achey breaky thing it does...even though I realize it's just a dream.
What does this dream meeeaaan?!
Does the old naked name symbolize the naked truth?
Does my own mother think i'm a slutsack metaphorcially or otherwise?
Are ninja boy and I just not meant to be?
All i know is that I am never going commando ever again ever.
11:06 PM
